thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish i was in the wii world.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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