im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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