We're like a lot better than the average bears
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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