Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
