Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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