you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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