I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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