We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you