does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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