as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
