She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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