I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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