"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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