Already got asked if we're dating
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
