marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
