fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
