people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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