I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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