if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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