apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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