The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my sisters under your porch take her home
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
