i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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