i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
