I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
