dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
