I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
