wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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