Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
