His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize