oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
