Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
