Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your penis caused this!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize