I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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