please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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