I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
