But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
