I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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