How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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