The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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