Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Boobs speak an international language.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
