Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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