I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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