What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
