well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
