Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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