Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
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You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
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I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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