I hate your face
it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So much rum. So many feels.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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