I am puke
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
