You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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