if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
