i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
