i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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