I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
