I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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