i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
