we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
