I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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