u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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