I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
