Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
